What is your opium?

Hi, a very warm thank you for the patient ones who still do not tire of this lazy blogger, after such a long absence. Has she lost her soul in Lala-land where vacations are the order of the day (everyday!) and even the meager responsibility of writing a few things in a forgotten blog is so hard to do?

Well, I am now officially in the Rat Race. Hope that explains a bit.

Perhaps I think having a first job is perfect for an idealist like me. I am optimistic in all things around me. Waking up early seemed (and still seems) romantic. Getting into a crammed train seems romantic too. Cramming my toes into more formal-looking shoes that is fit for work but not fit to my personality and getting sore legs after still is still bearable. I am feeling not busy enough. Getting more work seems perfect too.

The mentioned-above(s) might not appeal to many, but I do believe that if I have a dream, and that if I work and live according to my own principles and standards that I have self-imposed to myself, I will be happy. Nothing seems to be able to irritate and provoke me. I don’t see any obstacles. I feel invincible.

Somehow these traits seem to make me a perfect Communist. I do not have anyone charismatic who I owe my loyalty to but the feeling of having something so strong in my heart that I believe in despite sometimes seeing the true facet of the big, bad world. I am like a Communist, but I walk alone, not hearing any propaganda but from myself. Sometimes it’s not a bad idea to be blind too, in my case, selectively-blind.

Maybe Optimism is my opium, numbing me from realizing the ugly facet, but it’s also my savior.

When will this beautiful illusion expire? When will the effect of my opium wear off? This I leave to you to figure.



p.s. I am not in real-life, a Communist. I am fully supporting Democracy, but not our current brand of it, but the ideal version that would never materialize.